I haven't posted anything on here in ages, but I am extremely upset tonight and need to vent. So if you don't want to hear my vent, stop reading now!!
Anyway, so we brought Dad home 2 weeks ago today (Monday) from the nursing home and figured everything was gonna be fine. We had the group set up to come in and stay with him while I was at work and give me some free time during the day so that I could run errands or just get away. I didn't like the fact that they wouldn't be in at night after I got off work so maybe I could go out with friends or by myself on occasion, but figured I could do that when sis was in town. Well, come to find out the day after Dad got out, they didn't file the paperwork to get people in the house, was going to have to wait a few days for it to go through since they hadn't, which was fine, at the time. The next couple of days made numerous calls to the agency asking about the paperwork and kept getting told they would call us when it went through. My sister went back to Baltimore to work and I said I would stay with Dad until we had help. By that Friday, still no help and no word when paperwork was going through. I was staying with him 24/7 and driving myself crazy. I had to go back to work that night and ended up leaving him alone, which was fine for a while, I came back to check on him after a couple of hours, he was sleeping and then the second time I came back, he was screaming at the top of his lungs and trying to get out of bed. Made for a very long night and me knowing that I could never leave him alone again. I called and begged my sister to come home on Saturday, knowing she didn't have to work the weekend and I needed a break already. She agreed, finally, and came home so I could go to work on Saturday and Sunday, and ended up staying home for almost a week because I told her until I had help, I couldn't handle it by myself. In the mail on Saturday we received a letter saying he no longer qualified for the in home help, he made too much money!! What the Hell!!! I would like to know where it is at, because it certainly ain't in his checkbook. The nursing home drained all of that for us really quick. Anyway, he carries on every night, waking me up several times and also my sister, so none of us slept much all last week while she called off work everyday until we got something settled. Finally, last Thursday the in-home agency showed up to evaluate what kind of help that we could get, saying the letter we had received wasn't correct and they were not supposed to send it out. They made it all sound really good, could get someone in every day to stay with him, 6-8 hours, so I could go to work and run errands. May even qualify for more after a month of continuous care. They were going to send someone to stay with him the next day and would have someone else through the weekend. I was already wanting him to go back to the nursing home, so it took a lot of convincing for me to sit there and listen. But he can't go back there until we get his doctor to fill out some form again, but I am taking care of that tomorrow (Tuesday). Anyway, so we got someone to come and stay with him on Friday so Brenda could leave and head back to work. She was really nice and Dad seemed to like her at first. When I got home that night, he told me that she was really mean to him and he didn't want her back. She said he was a little hard to handle, but didn't mind it too much. (What to do?) I know he doesn't know what is going on all the time, but I felt really bad that he thought she was mean to him. So anyway, on Saturday we waited for the girl to show up that was supposed to be here, ended up calling my other sister to come and stay with him for an hour because the girl was gonna be late. Well, she ended up not showing at all or even calling and when a call was made to the agency, the on-call lady said she would look into it and never called back. Meanwhile, my sister is pissed that I supposedly lied to her about only having to stay an hour (because apparently I knew she wouldn't show). Who knows? Can't win!! So Sunday morning I called the agency again asking if the girl was going to show up that day, I got this reply, "Oh yeah, she was sick and still is but has agreed to stay with your Dad today. By the way, she has been throwing up all morning." What the Hell???? Sure, send her over while she is sick. What are these people thinking??????? I told her to call the girl and tell her not to come because I didn't want Dad to get sick. I also asked why they didn't bother to call us back about Saturday, because if I hadn't shown up to my job and never called, I would have been fired. The lady told me to not be so dramatic. OMG!!! What are these people thinking again????? Anyway, I finally got ahold of my older sister again and she agreed to stay with Dad again, as long as this was the last time for a while. (Heaven forbid if she watch her Dad for more than a couple of days to help me out.) In the mean time, the sick girl showed up on my doorstep saying she would work. She looked like death and was coughing like crazy. I wouldn't let her in the house. I told her they were supposed to call her and tell her not to come if she was sick, but they didn't do that. I told her I couldn't let her work in her condition, she said she understood, but didn't look happy. I called the agency again today to make sure the regular girl (who is supposed to be with him during the week, not the weekend, that is a different girl, the one who was sick) was going to be coming in tonight to stay with him, they assured me that she would be here and she wasn't sick. She showed up on time and was a very nice woman. I showed her where stuff was in the house and answered all of her questions, then headed to work, leaving her my number in case he got out of hand or she had a question. Never heard a peep, so didn't worry about things. When I got home tonight, she was watching TV and Dad was snoring in his bed, so things were fine!! Dad woke up after she left and said she was really nice and he liked her!! Thank goodness!! So finally had a half-way decent day, even though Dad was driving me insane earlier. Like I said before, we are screaming during the night several times, so I have to go in and calm him down every time so the neighbors don't think I am trying to kill him or anything.
My point to all of this is I feel like I am a bad person because I want him to go back to the nursing home. I feel like I can no longer take care of him everyday. It is just too much. My sisters obviously aren't around him everyday like I am, and for some reason they can't understand why I can't do it. It's not like I have anything else to do. I know I am being selfish, but I deserve to be for once in my life. I have always put everyone else first, I haven't taken care of myself for so long. At least when he was in the nursing home, I kinda had a life, was able to do things with friends or whatever. It's not like I wanna run around every night, go out drinking or whatever, just want some time to spend with other people and try to have a life. Why is this so wrong? I can't take it anymore, gonna end up cracking soon!!
If you are still reading this, you are a true friend!! I need a few of those. I have lost all of my old friends from school and the ones I had from my old job. Guess they were just tired of me always saying I couldn't do things with them or were tired of listening to my complaining. I do have a few great friends that I work with now, but only get to see them a few times a week. Ok, I am done. I feel so much better that I have gotten this out, the only place I can vent without getting criticized by family or others.

Need to vent!! If you don't want to listen to my complaining, do not read any further!!!
So my brother finally came for a visit, thank goodness it was really short!! He was supposed to show up late Friday night, but ended up calling and saying he wanted to work on his presentation that he was going to have to give on Monday morning, so would not be here until Saturday afternoon. He called around noon and said he was almost in town and wanted to meet for lunch. I was on my way to visit Dad at the rehab hospital and he was going to meet me up there and we could go. Instead he decided to stop out at my sister's house on the way in town and get her. Unfortunately they got talking and did not call me until after 1:30 p.m. They called on their way in town and wanted me to meet them for lunch somewhere before they were to see Dad. In the mean time, my father had a coughing fit at lunch and apparently had one the night before at dinner. The nurses were getting concerned, but I took him back to his room to calm him down. He decided to take a nap, so I went to meet bro and sis at Applebee's. We did have a nice lunch and then went to see Dad. I could not stay for long, had to go to work shortly after, so left bro and sis and they were going to stay with him through dinner. Unfortunately during dinner, he had another coughing fit and the nurse called me at work and said they were calling an ambulance to take my father to CCMH to find out what was wrong. They thought he was choking on everything. I just figured it was pneumonia again or bronchitis because he is not used to these severe inside temperature changes all the time. What I did not know was that my sis had left and went home and left my bro, who knew absolutely no information to give to the docs at the hospital. I had agreed to meet them down there and leave work, but decided to call my sis instead and see if she could go and let me at least finish up the night at work. Out of the kindness of her heart (yeah, whatever), she agreed to go. I left work at 9 and then headed over there and she left immediately after, big shocker!! My brother was griping about not being able to work on his presentation while in the ER, so I kept telling him to leave and go to my house to work on it, I didn't need anyone else there. He ended up staying because he felt bad and we finally got to leave around midnight, they were taking Dad back to Healthsouth in an ambulance. His diagnosis was just bronchitis, so nothing antibiotics couldn't help cure!! I followed in my car to get him settled and then headed home to sleep!!! My brother headed to my house so he could work, but was asleep on the couch when I got there and then got mad at me that I was so late and hadn't kept him awake to work on his presentation. Anyway, he left this morning around 11 a.m. and I said he would be back sometime next month. I told him next time he can stay in a hotel!!! 
Sorry, I am extremely bored!!!!!

Guess I will give an update here too since I keep getting phone calls from people and have no idea how they found out so soon. Had to put my father in the hospital this evening due to increased confusion, hitting and kicking my sister and I when we were trying to help, yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs in the house that we were trying to kill him, getting no sleep again last night because he was trying to climb out of bed all night and screaming then, etc. We had just taken all that we could handle and since every time we tried to help he would kick or punch, we just couldn't handle him at home anymore today. We called an ambulance because we knew it would be impossible for the two of us to get him in the car alone. They showed up and he introduced us as the stupid one and the slut (the slut being me) and also did that to the emergency room doctor. I just had to laugh. Anyway, he hadn't calmed down at all there and I was tired of being called all kinds of names (haven't heard him cuss and carry on like that in a while), so I decided to return to work. My sister just called and said they are admitting him and he possibly has pneumonia, among other things, so will finally get to rest tonight. Hopefully he will calm down for them.

Being in the line of work that I am, I receive silly obituaries from family and friends all the time. I have received this one a million times, but I still love and laugh at it every single time I get it. And since I have nothing else to do here at work today, I have decided to post it.


Pillsbury Dough Boy obituary
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

It was brought to my attention that I am being blamed for certain events that took place last week that I didn't have any knowledge of until lately. I am so sick of tired of being blamed for things that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Let's just say, I found out who my true friends were this week and if you are being nice to me to my face and saying things about me behind my back, don't bother. I do not need any favors. Go back to elementary school and grow up. I have tons of problems in my life without having to worry about this petty bullshit!!!